An open letter to parents…

Dear Parents

We know how much you love your children. Many of us are parents too and if we aren’t, you can rest assured that we wouldn’t be educators unless we cared deeply about children, so we know that many of the following things are important to you. Take a moment to consider which of these you most wish for…

• My child succeeds without struggle
• My child is above average at school
• My child is admired by others
• My child is well behaved and works hard to get good grades
• My child excels in sporting competitions
• My child produces impressive work at school
• My child is extended by her teachers
• My child’s class gets homework to help them do better at school
• My child is popular with his peers
• My child is always happy at school

Our teachers have been reading Contextual Wellbeing, by Helen Street, which is based on extensive research, and it turns out that the pressure induced by the items on this list, despite being instinctive desires of many parents, can actually undermine children’s wellbeing.

Now consider the list below…

• My child is valued as an individual
• My child  feels a sense of belonging
• My child’s strengths matter more than his weaknesses
• My child is intrinsically motivated
• My child forms meaningful relationships
• My child experiences personal growth
• My child contributes to the community
• My child loves learning
• My child has ownership of her decisions and accepts the consequences
• My child is allowed to fail and learn from his mistakes

We asked parents who attended our informal session last week to sort all these aspirations into two groups. Once they got going, it quickly became clear which would put pressure on their children and which would support them in becoming well adjusted, valued and valuable members of society, content within themselves. We ask you to think about it too…

‘Wellbeing is a state of health, happiness and positive engagement that arises from membership of an equitable, inclusive and cohesive environment’ (Helen Street 2016 )